How I positioned myself to experience post traumatic growth

Taking time to understand

“There are two main traumatic responses: post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which is usually an outcome of a single traumatic occurrence and complex trauma response which is usually an outcome of repeated exposure to perceived danger. People living with type 1 diabetes, who have to make about 150 extra decisions each day compared to people not living with type 1 diabetes, are living in a constant state of vulnerability, feeling ‘less than’ others free from condition.

For people living with diabetes, the long-term effects often contribute to diabetes distress and burnout. Diabetes burnout is a state in which someone with diabetes grows tired of managing their condition, and then simply ignores it for a period of time, or worse, forever. Unfortunately, diabetes burnout is common, and most people with type 1 diabetes have experienced it at some point in their lives. Symptoms include strong negative feelings about diabetes, feeling controlled by diabetes, isolation or feeling alone with diabetes, avoidance of some or all diabetes management activities and being unmotivated to change this behaviour.

Looking back on my own history of living with type 1 diabetes, I can identify times of stress, of chronic trauma (ongoing stress of living with a long-term condition), acute trauma (some additional singular events), post-traumatic growth and resilience. The singular events that I believe precipitated an acute traumatic response were my loss of sight in one eye at the age of 27, the loss of my driver’s licence at the age of 51, and being made redundant plus losing my relationship and house at the age of 61.

All these events plus the complex trauma that I experienced as a result of living with type 1 diabetes and resulting physical complications have built up to a very high level of stress. After the age of 63 however, I have noticed a drop in this very high stress level which I propose is a result of personal growth and increasing resilience, reflexivity and emotional intelligence.

My reflection is focussed on investigating how I positioned myself to experience post traumatic growth. How have I used resilience to cope and thrive living with trauma? How have I so far dodged the ‘Black Dog’ of depression and continue to do so?

Fortuitously, my doctor referred me to a psychologist at the time of losing my licence and the organisation that had declared me redundant provided me with a counsellor at the time – both of whom helped me deal with the psychological and self-worth problems I had resulting from the traumas. I believe both interventions were effective and helped me reduce my feelings of despair and anxiety, and purposefully helped me improve my self-talk. In both instances I also increased the amount of contact and deep conversations I had with my children and close friends, which reduced my feelings of isolation and disconnection. These things helped me avoid a deeper sense of burnout.

I have been unclear until now why I have been somehow able to show a reasonable level of resilience. One of many scientific definitions describes resilience as “those inner strengths of mind and character – both inborn and developed – that enable one to respond to adversity, including the capacities to prevent stress-related conditions such as anxiety or depression, to recover faster and more completely from stress and stress-related conditions, and to optimise mental fitness and functioning in the various areas of life.” A model of resilience proposes that people living with complex trauma can emerge as resilient if they exhibit five distinct dynamic factors:

• Possessing an ability to connect with others for support: I believe I have been able to do this throughout my life and career, reaching out to health professionals for type 1 diabetes support and to work colleagues and mentors for career and praxis support.
• Possessing a problem-solving ability and playfulness as opposed to impulsivity: I believe I have possessed these skills from childhood and enjoy using them in my type 1 diabetes life and profession as a counsellor.
• Possessing a strong goal orientation coupled with motivation to succeed: I know that I am outcome focussed and achieving goals is important for me, for my clients and for the programs/organisation I work for.
• Possessing insight, meaning the ability to be introspective, interpersonally intelligent and articulate: I believe I have been lucky enough to make meaning out of painful experiences, develop insights into complicated issues and speak about contributing factors.
• Being independent, action-oriented and determined to stand up for oneself: in this characteristic, I suspect I may be lacking. While I believe I am a ‘loner’, I have found it difficult to sometimes stand up for myself and I suspect this is associated with living with type 1 diabetes. I would say however, that I am action-oriented yet not impulsive.

I believe I work best, feel best and feel less stressed when I believe I am working for a worthy cause or the ‘greater good’. My catholic faith supported me in this regard for the first few decades of my life. I have been able to contribute to public good work in the fields of diabetes support with Diabetes Victoria, with extension work in the dairy industry, in rural communities when involved in agribusiness and banking, and in reducing the impact of and occurrence of family violence in my community.

People want to feel loved, secure and have a sense of belonging and desire to feel supported by close others whom they can approach in times of distress. According to equity theory, ‘interpersonal relationships are the most satisfying when both people contribute to, and receive benefits from, the relationship equitably’. I support the notion that in relationships where both parties think of it as a cohesive unit when managing stress, the partners tend to feel as if they are ‘in this together’ and ‘we are there for each other’ are more likely to be beneficial to the partners. A sense of ‘we-ness’ is integral to co-operation, companionship, negotiating differences, problem solving, feeling supported emotionally and feeling motivated to support each other in being who the other is. I believe that I strongly experience the sense of ‘we-ness’ in my relationship with my wonderful partner. I derive an enormous amount of emotional comfort and strength from this relationship, enacting the notion of ‘living as ourselves together united’.

I think these factors go a long way to explaining my healthy level of resilience.

I believe I have also experienced post-traumatic growth. Post-traumatic growth is a concept that describes a type of transformation that can occur after a traumatic experience: the psychological struggle required to process the trauma can result in positive growth. Individuals who go through post-traumatic growth can develop new understandings of themselves. They may relate differently to others and revise their previous choices about how to live their lives. Post-traumatic growth is not about being able to bounce back, it is about the growth that occurs when bouncing back is hard, but persistence is applied nonetheless. If trauma causes someone’s deepest held beliefs to be challenged, this is when growth is possible, because those beliefs have to be reassessed. An extremely resilient person therefore doesn’t experience post-traumatic growth, but post-traumatic growth can make a person more resilient.

The most effective people working in the helping professions are those who can tune into their own emotions and experiences and use them intelligently to facilitate positive change in those they are trying to help. Resilient, insightful individuals who can separate their own feelings from those of their clients and who can empathise, be compassionate and offer constructive help without trying to ‘fix’ or validate, are most likely to help clients achieve positive outcomes. I believe I have benefitted from how I have processed trauma, both complex and at times acute and this has enhanced my professional and personal praxis. Knowing more about how I have achieved this is even better.”